In 2011, singer Amy Winehouse joined the 27 Club of music legends who died at that age. Winehouse became famous for saying she did not want to go to rehab. Had she gone, this is the motivation interview that never happened. Motivational interviewing is a technique used in addiction treatment. The following is a fictional script of how a conversation in a session may have gone with Amy Winehouse.
You’re feeling uncomfortable with your choices that are making your family and friends tell you to go to Rehab?
Amy: Nah. I’m just tired of everybody else telling me what I need to do. I’m angry that people don’t let me just live
You are angry with people showing concern?
Amy: No, I’m angry that they won’t leave me alone. I need to just do what I want. There is no way that I’m going give up 70 days of my life to go and talk about my problems around strangers. All that matters to me is that I can write and do my music. They know I can’t be away from Blake.
You are angry about not being able to write music? Or are you angry that you won’t have the freedom to do what you want?
Amy: It’s both. I mean, c’mon. They keep trying to make me go get help but I said no 1000 times. Sure I black out but I always wake up and everything’s fine. I’ve never woken up in some strange place with people I don’t know or with bruises on my body. I can’t be away from Blake. When he is gone I get really down in the dumps. He is my kick start. My moods are terrible without him. My manager Frank told me to go to Rehab back in 2003 and I went all anxious I would lose Blake. I checked out after 15 minutes because the staff told me that I couldn’t contact him until later that night. I want to drink more when he is gone.
Amy, you have tried to do things your own way? You mean to tell me that you can handle your drinking and that as long as you are not in any major danger the next day that things are okay?
Amy: Yes. Like I told my mates, I would rather be home with Blake. Poppa thinks I’m okay. As long as my dad thinks that there is nothing wrong I don’t see why they don’t leave things alone.
You tried to manage drinking before and it has not worked for you. You had blackouts the last time we talked and since then you told me there have been about five other incidents that it happened again.
Amy: I don’t have the time to deal with this stuff and got some music to write. I really don’t want to have to drink again but I only have a chance to be with friends when we go to the pubs. I don’t want to be lonely. It’s tough enough being away from Blake. I’m scared of the kind of depressed moods I get when Blake goes away. We can’t be apart. He is my soul mate even though he had that kid with that wench during our breakup. When I’m in the studio recording I need Blake and a bottle of gin to make it through the long hours of recording. Besides in Rehab they tell me things I already know. I could lose my Blake if I am gone for 70 days. He gets restless without me and wanders.
So you are frustrated with needing to have a drink and be around Blake all the time to feel stable?
Amy: Yeah, I need him. I just don’t think that spending 10 weeks away from my life will do any good. People will just think I’m getting better but I’m not. They just have to accept that I just don’t want to go.
So it sounds like you are afraid to be away from Blake?
Amy: I don’t want to lose Blake. I think I’m going to lose him if I go away for 70 days. I didn’t learn much in school other than I was only happy when I got to do my own thing. My black moods were so bad back then. Once I met Blake it’s like I had happiness for the first time. Sometimes I feel like Donny Hathaway except I don’t and won’t take drugs. Donny didn’t take them all the time because I think they had really bad side effects. Mr. Hathaway taught me that creativity was a demon best not caged even though he jumped off a balcony. He and I are like Jekyll and Hyde, that’s why we are singers. Other than Blake it’s the bottle that keeps me from getting all frantic and nutty on people. Going to Rehab would feel like the beast in me would be caged and I’d explode.
Sounds like you are frustrated with trying to stop drinking on your own but you also don’t know how to hold onto your sense of peace without Blake?
Amy: That’s why I don’t want to go to Rehab. You see, Blake is my world. I’m addicted to him as much as I am to Gin or Vodka.
So if I understand you so far, you don’t want to drink but you don’t want to go to Rehab. You described Blake as your world and without him you fall into really bad depression. You also say that since your father thinks everything is okay that it is evidence that you don’t need help? Is that correct?
Amy: You got it. You see I didn’t much have a good go at school. I hated it. There is just so much that I wanted to express and I just cannot deal with like rules. When I met Blake he just seemed like my reason to live other than the music. I know he’s trouble for me and I’m trouble for him. There are times when we get into horrible rows and he gets all jealous about what I did when he was not there. We are drinking buddies. His love is my drug. People have gotten so mad at me because Blake and I get so wasted we hurt each other. All hell breaks loose when I tell them about Blake and I getting physical. I know if I go to rehab that’s all I will hear from the counselors, how awful Blake is and how we should part forever, but they don’t have to deal with the black moods I will go through if he ever leaves for good.
Are you are wondering if you should do something about how Blake is a part of your drinking?
Amy: I know I cheated myself getting involved with Blake and I knew I shouldn’t do it. I’m just trouble. Everyone knows I’m no good so why did they push me to go get help? The other week I was upstairs and spending time in bed with Blake since I know I can’t ever really be happy with him. Then he decides that we should get married. So I don’t know what to do. I mean, Blake is just my whole life. He and I have had our hard times. Not that I’m bitter or anything but when we have our horrible rows we set each other off. There were a couple of times I’ve called you when I’ve been on the kitchen floor and can’t get up. Blake can get really mean but during happy times it really happy. We had such a smashing time in Jamaica in Spain under the sun. The flow of alcohol just didn’t stop. Then we crashed after being up for three days straight from the stuff we were taking with the booze. It sucks because all that happiness just goes down the toilet. We were in Spain after a week on a bender and got into an argument again. Ray took off and I didn’t know where he was. The next thing I knew, he was sitting on the toilet seat next to me crying. I was in the bathtub with sore wounds. Blake beat me up and I had these carpet burns all over my arms. I don’t know what happened. It was one of those blackouts I had.
I can see where you might feel angry and helpless at this point.
Amy: I don’t know anymore. I just I don’t want to drink again. But I don’t want to be alone. When I was in school the only way I could relax enough and make friends with people was after I drank a few pints of Guinness. Suddenly I was everyone’s best friend.
It seems like you have been using alcohol to soothe your emotions and relate to others so you don’t feel lonely. You sound like Blake’s company prevents you from episodes of depression?
Amy: It doesn’t mean I’m intent on destroying this life of mine. It’s just that nobody stands between me and Blake. Nobody. That’s why I don’t want to go to Rehab.
Sounds like you don’t want to be alone or else you feel like your life has no meaning?
Amy: No one’s down for us being together. I hate it. I get so mad when people try to keep us apart. What kind of crap is this? I mean he just needs me to prove that I’m his girl. Blake tells me that he thinks I don’t love him when I do. He plays me sometimes by getting me all jealous about his wench and their kid. My dad does this too by trying to guilt me about not caring about my family over Blake. It’s like that vacation in Brixton when my parents and friends tried to have an intervention to break us apart. After that I got really protective because it is my Blake and we are soulmates.
So you want to stop drinking but you don’t want to be alone? You want to make this relationship with Blake work because you are depressed without with him?
Amy: Exactly it. Like I tell Sammy my best mate who like a black Jew, so loyal to me even after all the crap with Blake. Sammy hates Blake for introducing me to drugs but I tell him that it’s Blake and I against the world. God knows how much Sammy and the rest of my pals don’t want me with Blake but it’s him and I. I’m not going to Rehab because we need to be together.
So your motivation is to stay with Blake and to stop drinking?
Amy: Yeah.
Amy, you have said that you know that stopping drinking is the best choice, but that it won’t fit with your lifestyle. What are some of your concerns about fitting sobriety into your current lifestyle?
Amy: I don’t want to lose Blake. He still needs to go out to the clubs and have fun. I get so nervous on stage even though people don’t believe me. I need to relax and I learned early on in school that if I took a shot glass that it relaxed me enough to sing on stage. The shot glass just lets me express that you know.
What is it about your drinking that others may see as reasons for concern?
Amy: they don’t want me to die young. I’m always joking about how there is the 27 club of rock legends who all died when they were 27. My friends and family don’t want me to black out one day and never wake up. They don’t want me to join the dead rock stars club. My mates know that I like to mix the booze with a couple of uppers. Blake taught me how to do that so I could write and perform for hours without letting my nerves stop me.
How will it benefit your family and friends to have an Amy who didn’t drink so much anymore?
Amy: I know I caused them a lot of stress. They get really tired because I’m so angry sometimes. I’m no fun when I am completely wasted. They don’t want to bother with me the way they do. I think all the lot of them would be relieved to not be like the parents of an out of control brat.
How do you think you’ll benefit if you don’t need to drink all the time?
Amy: When I am very hung over and I cannot put two words together. It’s a pain trying to write something on the piano because I can’t coordinate myself. Sometimes I get hangover headaches so intense that I just want to sleep and draw the curtains. Then I sleep non-stop for days.
What would be the good things about your relationship with Blake if you became sober?
Amy: I could have our own baby. Don’t want to give birth to some kid with fetal alcohol syndrome. Blake and I probably wouldn’t fight so much because I throw things when I’m drunk. If Blake and I had a baby then that wench and their kid wouldn’t have such a hold on him.
How has drinking stopped you from doing what you want to do?
Amy: It used to help me write songs but now it makes it hard to write because I’m just too drunk. I definitely think it stops me from making some new songs for the fans and the music company. Then sometimes I just need to drink several pints so I won’t be nervous on stage. The drinking stops me from giving a performance without falling on my face in the middle of a set.
How do you feel about the way drinking has affected your career?
Amy: I feel like a chav and a prat and that everything I do is bollocks for me. People think I’m now this has been who is just a big joke with heavy make-up and a Beehive hairdo. I know I’ve got talent but I’ve pissed it all away you know. I look at these people on Celebrity Rehab and think that one of these days Dr. Drew will ask me to be on the show because it’s the only way for me to have a career now.
The fact that you’re sharing with me indicates that you want to learn how to be sober and to connect with people without relying on alcohol. It also tells me that you want to have better relationships with your friends and family without losing your creativity. I also hear that you want to be a performer that entertains but being hung and wasted on stage is not the way to do that. Why would you want to learn about sobriety?
Amy: I don’t really have a choice. I don’t want to go to Rehab so I’d rather learn how to manage the bottle at home. I want to be able to go on a tour and get a new recording contract. I want to perform at the Grammys and bring Blake with me. We’re always happy when we’re traveling. Neither of us wants to have the kind of drama that we had with our trips to Jamaica and Spain because we were both constantly drinking the whole time.
What makes you think that you need to make a change?
Amy: I don’t want to go to Rehab. I don’t. The only way they can stop telling me that I need to lock myself down another facility is if I get sober. I want to do it at home.
And if things worked out exactly as you like, what would be different?
Amy: Blake and I would have a family and I would stop fighting with all my friends, family, and band mates. The record company would give me a deal for couple more albums and I’d have more songs published.
If you decided to change, what do you think would work for you?
Amy: I need to have somebody keep the bottle away from me. I used alcohol to cope with everything so I need something else to do that for me. If something other than whiskey helped me relax for shows that would better. I’d like to have another outlet that gets me going but at the same time does not leave me hung over and a complete waste.
What concerns do you have about making changes?
Amy: Blake won’t stop drinking you know. He may just continue and I’m worried I’ll be tempted again. People say we enable each other but it’s because we are soul mates. I just feel like I have to do what Steven Tyler and Arrowsmith did. They have their management issue a completely dry rider now for gigs. When I go a day without drinking I go into convulsions and shake all over My hands tremble and I’m sweating so bad even if it’s not hot outside. If I go dry I’m afraid I will get so sick with some flu and be even worse.
Many people report feeling like you do. They want to change their drinking but find it difficult. What things make you think is the problem?
Amy: I just don’t want to be seen as boring and someone that wants to hang out with other boring people. Steve Tyler just doesn’t seem like fun now and he is from another century. His management wouldn’t let alcohol or anything else be anywhere near the band today because they were just completely on the sauce throughout the 1970s. I’m worried that it can ruin my image as this really cool girl. My manager says it’s bad for my commercial value to be this poster girl for Rehab. It will contradict my hit song.
What difficulties have you encountered trying to change your drinking?
There’s just so much of this stuff available to me on the road and I don’t know if I can resist.
Most people report both good and less good things about their decision to stop drinking. It’s okay if you don’t think any of these ideas will work for you, perhaps you’ve been thinking about something that might work instead?”
Amy: Sort of. I look at Madonna and she says she is addicted to exercise. Maybe I should do yoga like she does.
Ultimately, it is your decision. So, what would you like to try?
Amy: Maybe one of those in-patient programs where I get to go home at night. Maybe go to a clinic where the program includes exercise that is something that I would like to replace drinking with. I want Blake to go to but to a place where it’s all men so he doesn’t cheat on me again.
You are right. I am concerned about your continual access to alcohol without supervision but you are the one in control. In spite of what happened to you last month, your coming back today reflects that you’re concerned about changing your drinking.