Don’t you love it when the online dating companies prey upon your insecurities during Valentine’s Day and push their promotional prices on you? Sure people are busy these days and online dating definitely makes it easier to chat with a lot of people in a short amount of time. The problem with online dating is it does not work. Yes I know one of you out there probably knows at least a dozen couples who are married with babies thanks to eHarmony but you are an outlier. Online dating is an exhausting process in trying to figure out if someone is honest, sincere, and not impersonating someone else.
You see, I am an outlier myself. Once upon a time a friend of mine in Toronto dared me to put a personal ad up. Being a brat, there I was in Canada asking for an All-American man in Toronto. On a whim, and totally unexpected, that ad only attracted one response. He turned out to be the love of my life. I’m sure if he read this he would think I was bizarre but that is my truth. Michael was from New York. He was German-Irish, Catholic, worked for a prestigious management consulting firm, and was super smart. He was a typical All-American blue-eyed blonde who had been born in Germany but raised in New York. He even could speak some German. No, this is not Michael Fassbender but a real life Michael whom I knew. He is the reason why I am such a fan of Fassbender but that’s not the point. The point is … any time I ever put an ad up again … the results were men like Greg, who I will explain in a minute. Michael was an outlier. Too bad I was a brat back then because I single handedly ruined my chance to marry and have children with the love of my life. Now, at least I can say I loved and lost instead of never loved at all and he looked like Michael Fassbender! And don’t even get me started with my next serious relationship and the man who entered my life after Michael went back to New York. His name was Geoff and he was Gerard Butler’s long lost twin. Geoff was Scottish, 6’2”, dark curly hair, green eyes, burly physique and also finished law school. Geoff is the reason I’m such a fan of Gerry.
In December 2011 I received a wink on OkCupid from a man calling himself Greg. Greg claimed that he was 37, had an MBA in Finance from Penn State and worked as a financial advisor in San Francisco. Greg also sent me a photograph that was attractive. The problem was, Greg was a fake, and this is very common when it comes to online dating. How did I know that Greg was a fake? A simple function called Google images. I uploaded the photo he sent me and did a search. It turns out that the picture of who was supposed to be Greg belong to a Georgia singer named Mike Sparrow. Sparrow died in 2009. Do the math. Unfortunately my friends and others I have known report similar experiences on other dating sites. There are people who are honest and unfortunately much more people who want to deceive for whatever reason. Stupid Cupid! Stop picking on me!
Traditional societies used to have a Yenta or matchmaker who would arrange for families to marry off a son or daughter. In some countries there is still the arranged marriage that is brokered by a matchmaker known to the family. For those of us in North America we have Patti Stanger, Siggy Flicker, Steve and Joanne Ward, and now Samantha Liu of San Francisco. Samantha became a matchmaker as an evolution of her social personality and savvy business skills. Liu owns Glass Kandi in San Francisco and just knows a lot of people. Many have suggested for years that she become a matchmaker and she finally took the plunge in 2009.
Samantha’s advice is to get out there. You can meet a lot of people online who are not like Greg but could be friends with or more. It is an investment of time, energy, and requires the development of social skills and emotional intelligence that leverages you into a social group that increases your chances of meeting the right mate. Samantha also acts as a professional wing woman where people can practice safer dating and mating activities in real life scenarios in a bar lab in San Francisco. This forces people to develop social skills in attraction because there is a segment of the population that relies on online dating exclusively since they never learned how to attract and connect with the opposite sex in high school.
The first thing you’ll notice about Samantha is that she is the kind of woman that would have no trouble getting a date herself. To be honest who wants to hire a matchmaker who can find a man herself? Samantha as a person is also in the flow of life and moves from social circle to social circle effortlessly. As a matchmaker she helps people move from chatting online and relying on a profile to actually meeting the opposite sex in person. Time is money and the investment in her business can save you endless hours are wasted on various dating websites that yield people like Greg. Finding a mate is a numbers game and it takes commitment but how that commitment expresses itself does not have to be one way.
Samantha is very social as evidenced by the comments of her clients and customers at her boutique. She is also a real person instead of someone looking to make a buck by preying on vulnerable emotions. In the world of dating and mating many companies have come under fire for promising miracle results in a very high price. Most the time those results do not manifest but the money is gone and the swindled customers are unable to retrieve it.
Samantha reminds clients that she is not promoting marriage but simply an introduction to those seeking the same type of relationship they are. As it was evolution of her personality to become a matchmaker, Samantha teaches her clients the skills required to be a master networker and social connector in the dating game. Her exercises help her clients leave their single days behind but there is no guarantee. Samantha does not follow formula or but she has a method to her approach. Samantha creates mixers and takes her clients to venues where the opposite sex is single and in high numbers. Remember, the older you get the harder it is to meet people because of lifestyle and age but Samantha keeps this in mind. She customizes a strategy an approach depending on the person but ultimately they are responsible for having the interpersonal skills and social intelligence from her coaching to make it work.
Another thing that is a real downer in the world of online dating is that there are many people on those sites who are not really single. Working with someone like Samantha eliminates the likelihood that you will run into someone who is already married or in a serious relationship just looking for fun. There is something to be said about a background check and being introduced to someone by a person who vetted them as available. Keep in mind that people who are serious enough to put a down payment on a matchmaker knowing it is a gamble, are possibly more likely to be seeking a serious long-term relationship. Somebody who is looking for just fun and distraction will run at this sight of a contract and a request for cold hard cash. In this way a matchmaker is a natural check against fakers.
Samantha’s matchmaking service is called Samona Date and she has several partners for those who do need a bit more help in the attraction department. There are image consultants and wingmen as well as exercise coaches who can help somebody get in shape for a date. Like in marketing, finding a mate is as much about your image as it is about your personality. No one buys a book because it has very interesting content. To be honest most people have been buying books for centuries because the cover and press about it is entertaining. Publishers want their books on the front window of a bookstore because it will sell in more quantities. Simple as that. Being successful in love is about effective marketing and having high social capital in peoples’ lives. If you don’t have the tools to present yourself in a way that gets you a partner, then Samantha is your solution.
While Samantha’s prices vary depending on the kind of service the client wants, her rates are very reasonable compared to the fees charged by more established and nationwide love headhunters. Samantha is doing this to help singles in San Francisco connect but also because she has fun with it. She’s not looking for volume but quality clients who are serious. Even when she scouts potential dates for clients, these people must go through a fairly rigorous interview process for her to determine whether they are worth meeting with her clients. People who meet through her matchmaking company are representing Samantha and she takes this very seriously. If you are lucky to be scouted by her, remember, if you will make her look any less than professional you’re not getting near anybody she is being paid by to find them their one. For more on Samantha Liu and Samona Date, please visit www.samonadate.com.