- Some ethnic groups in Nepal still promote the kidnapping of brides.
“The abductors weren’t interested in a ransom. They stole her because a villager twice her age wanted to marry her.” – Lochana Sharma, womensenews.org correspondent
In some parts of Nepal, if a man wants to get married, he can merely kidnap his intended bride. The abduction may be done with force or by negotiation. An indigenous custom or not, it still comes down to a lack of equal human rights for women.
Bride “napping”
Whether it is called “marriage by abduction” or simply “kidnapping,” the bizarre practice of seizing a woman and forcing her into matrimony still goes on today in some areas of the world, including Nepal. The notion of a man kidnapping his bride may have passé origins and be illegal in most places; nevertheless, the tradition is alive and well.
Not a unique ritual
If you believe kidnapping a woman for betrothal is a strange custom from some remote location, think again. At one time or another every continent has had its own patriarchal adaptation of the practice. Of late, headlines have been filled with the incredible survival stories of two brave abductees, Elizabeth Smart and Jaycee Lee Dugard, both of whom were grabbed while living in the United States.
Recent reports from Nepal
The Federal Democratic Republic of Nepal is home to many exquisite Buddhist temples, the tallest point on earth, Mt. Everest, the thrilling city of Kathmandu and in particular areas of the country, kidnapped brides.
Womensenews.org published a story on January 10, 2012 by Lochana Sharma, “Group in Nepal takes pride in kidnapping brides” which describes one woman’s ordeal in the Mustang district:
“Mendok Gurung, 19, says a group of men kidnapped her six years ago from a family wedding. The abductors weren’t interested in a ransom. They stole her because a villager twice her age wanted to marry her.”
The captured woman was recently quoted in Sharma’s article as saying, “Because of our tradition, I stayed with him.”
But isn’t that …
What’s behind the repression? It’s usually not the money. A better answer is pride.
Talk about a fragile male ego. Regarding the scandalous act of kidnapping potential wives, according to Mendok Gurung’s husband, Norbu, “the tradition doesn’t respect women’s wishes or rights, but says it brings honor to the men.”
The 40 year old Gurung isn’t alone in his view, which seems to be the perspective of a generational hand-me-down, as told by 22 year old bachelor, Phurba Tamang:
“It’s only the rich men who get to marry the girl they like…No one wants to marry us. All the girls want to get married to the rich men. We also have to get married.”
So then, just kidnap the bride of one’s choice? Clearly, there is a tendency in Nepal’s Mustang region to place women in lesser social positions, with limited power and decision making, the direct result of the actions of self-centered men. Is that a form of misogyny?
In the words of Tashi Syangbo, a representative in Nepal’s national parliament for the Mustang area, the matter can be summed up in four not so simple words, “This has to end.”